A Thoughtful Question – What About You?

A dear friend asked the question, “When you think about the end of your story, do you ever think about your memorial service? If you could plan it — what music would you want to have included? I think I would like Finally Home — ” Just think of stepping on shore and finding it …heaven, of touching a hand and finding it God’s, of breathing new air and finding it celestial, of waking up in Heaven and finding it home! How about you?”

I actually think about this from time to time and have included links to the songs – I would want these songs played at my memorial…”I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me from my own perspective and, of course….”Untitled Hymn” by Chris Rice to encourage believers and challenge those yet to come to faith in Christ. Click on the highlighted links to hear them.

What about you?

It’s a Little of Both

Thank you, Wez, for the email you sent to me. You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having “wealth” from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, “Purpose Driven Life” author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California. In the interview by Paul Bradshaw, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body—but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act – the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort: God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys – you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life… No matter how good thin gs are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems: If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her – It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You h ave to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do…2 Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit…we made no major purchases. Second, about the midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity: Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do. That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.

Suffering & Grace

As I enjoyed the morning I was reading 1 Peter 4 and 5 – about suffering and grace. Well, this week has certainly been a tough one….two steps backwards. Chapter 4:12 says, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you;” Well, I find that many times I do. I wonder why we’ve been dealt our situation for SO LONG. In fact, this morning I cried as I told the Lord that part of the reason for my tears is that I DO believe He could change our circumstances. It IS because of my faith in Him that I greive. Yet the scripture eludes that there is some mysterious value in suffering….but for the life of me, I am not able to grasp it.

Then verse 5 that tells me….”but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation.” And I began to consider if Jesus really did know what grieves me. And I began to note a laundry list of His earthly friends that caused him grief, and, of course, he wept when Lazarus died of illness. So even when it feels unnatural, I am told to rejoice and also reassured that nothing’s wasted because His glory will be revealed. I’m holding on, Lord.

Verse 19 of chapter 4 it says, “therefore, let those also who suffer according to the will of God entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.” So it’s not “if” but “when”. Suffering is included in the God experience. And scripture reminds me that the One who created my child is faithful and furthermore, HE WILL DO WHAT IS RIGHT. When I’m hurting, this is opposite my natural inclination to be pessimistic about God’s attributes…that God’s not listening and probably not able to help either. So here’s where it gets honest and dicey for me. In the next chapter (5:6-7) it gets to the point…. Here is the verse: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you.” So – I don’t know everything, I don’t understand everything, He is God, He’s given me a relationship with Him despite my limitations, and He’ll manage my situation for His purposes. So I’m to HUMBLE myself and suborninate my will to His and let God be God. Why isn’t this natural???????????

Now please allow me to skip verse 8 for the moment and skip to verse 9-10….”be firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” I get the feeling that collectively suffering is deeply connected to Jesus and has a collective purpose THAT IS UNKNOWN TO ME. It also rings true at it’s in the duration of our suffering that we experience God. And, of course, the end of the race sounds comforting, doesn’t it – Christ Himself will perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you – isn’t that what we really want as Christians?
I want to be part of something ultimately good and larger than myself.

It’s difficult now and many times I find myself dealing with the verse I skipped – chatper 5:8 which says….”be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your advesary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” And beginning of verse 5….”resist him”.

And on the days I give up, let my guard down and give the advesary my thoughts and heart, I am another Child of God rendered ineffective. Lord…give me Your strength and Your mercy today. As the prophet John said, “You must increase and I must decrease.”

A Masterful Prayer for My Children…..and for Me

I was sent this prayer this morning.  It is beautifully written and expressed by the author, Charlie Gunter, capturing my attention as I find myself praying portions of it each day for my own children…

Heavenly Father, thank You for my children’s salvation. Thank You for choosing them to be children of mine and Yours. Thank You that You have lavished Your riches and Your inheritance on them, although they could do nothing to earn it or deserve it.   

     I pray for my children’s legs to walk always with You, not racing ahead, not lagging behind, not wandering off, but day-by-day walking with Jesus, so that He is their constant companion. God, take them where You want them to go and keep them from the places they shouldn’t go. Give them strength to continue when they feel weak. Give them courage to keep on walking with You, even when the road ahead looks uncertain and dim. Give them grace to bridge gaps, to leap walls, to span the separations between people and groups.

     I pray for my children’s feet, that You would place them where You want them to stand. Plant their feet on the immovable rock of Jesus. Talk to them when storms come or the world’s attractions try to lure them down its path. Whisper in their ears and to their spirits, “Stand firm.”

     Through my children’s arms, always do Your work. Strengthen them, hold them up, and direct them to do whatever You want them to do. Make their time valuable for eternity, not just the quick flash that is the span of their days on earth.  

     I pray for my children’s hands that they will often fold them in prayer. Make them mighty in prayer. Teach them to pray after Your own heart. Enable them to live their lives so that everyone will see Your signature, “This one is the Lord’s.”

    Give my children the patience to wait on You, Lord, so that You may renew their spirits and they may soar as on eagle’s wings.

     By Your enabling power, make my children’s will as strong as iron for clinging to what is good and resisting evil. Cause them to be unyielding in following righteousness and rejecting anything not pure, holy, and completely from You. Make their wills toward You as pliable as spun silk when You convict them of sin or following their own ways. Give them tender hearts and teachable spirits for You, God.

     I pray for my children’s character, that You will make it strong and godly. Use godly men and women to mold, shape, and weave their character, beliefs, and views of You as You want to make them.  

     Enable by Your grace that their conscience will be clear. I pray they will keep a short list of accounts with You and quickly acknowledge sin to You and confess their wrongs. Give them the humility to seek forgiveness from the ones they offend. Enlarge their hearts to grant forgiveness freely, even before it is asked, when they are wronged.

     I pray for my children’s heart, that You would guard it. Keep them protected, covered, shielded, and sheltered from all harm that seeks to touch them. Make their hearts soft when they should show compassion, firm when “tough love” is required, and always holy.

     By Your power, protect their bodies. Keep them well and safe, and heal them when they are sick or injured. Hold them and comfort them when they are afraid, lonely, sad, or discouraged. Give them the strength and the courage to keep on keepin’ on when they feel they cannot any longer.

     I pray for my children’s minds, that regarding the things of Christ they will be full of knowledge and wisdom, and regarding the things of sin they will be ignorant. Give them Your wisdom and discernment to evaluate what they see.  

     Light my children’s eyes with the light of Christ shining within them. Filter what they will see through holy filters. Protect them and keep them, for the devil masquerades as an angel of light. Give them holy understanding to see past the surface, to see the world from Your perspective, and to respond as You would.

     Father, put Your Word in my children’s ears and in their hearts frequently. I pray that they will not listen to unwise counsel or foolish talk and will seek Your wisdom and Your ways all their days.

     I pray for my children’s mouths, that words of praise and prayer will be on their lips always. Curb them from speaking rashly or without thought, so that they will bring honor and glory to You. I pray for my children’s countenances, that they will reflect Your glory and the radiance of the hope that is alive within them.

     Sanctify their pocketbooks, and teach them to be good stewards of what You give them. Teach them the principles of Your economy, the way to manage and use the things that You loan them. Beyond finances and possessions, make them good stewards of their talents, time, and opportunities You send. Help them to acknowledge that everything is Yours, and because of that, they need not worry or fear loss.

     I pray that they will abide in righteousness and live worthy of the One who purchased their lives from destruction and eternal death. Show them that life is in Christ alone, that there is no other source of life, joy, light, peace, comfort, love, or truth that can endure forever, and no other is pure or holy but You.

     Father-God, I place all these things in Your hands in the name of the One who is able to do all things, beyond anything we ask or imagine, to whom is all glory, honor, and praise, Amen.

        -Charley Gunter, praying for Richmond and Margie Louise

Eleanor – A Bright Light in This World from 1936 – 2009 but Living Forever!

My dear friend, Eleanor, passed away early this afternoon.  She was 73 and had just had a birthday last week.  She is now in the presence of Christ, fully alive, without pain.  Thank you, Lord, for your Presence.  We now desperately need Your grace.

Dear Eleanor

I pray for you tonight that God will give you peace and rest from this chronic illness.  I pray that you might be aware of those gone ahead. I thank you for giving me a model for life and living.  I thank you for being “who” you are, but knowing Who you belong to. Thanks for allowing me to watch and learn from you, living out a life of service with an abundance of common sense and your own style of humor.  But most important is to know you is to know of Jesus.  To know you is to know of intimate conversation with God. 

My family and I have been privileged to have you pray for us over the years.  You knew how to pray for my children sometimes better than their own mother.  You sustained me in tough times and I am one of countless folks to have received your intercession to the Father.  I am praying earnestly for you now.  And I know that the faith that you have followed in this life will carry on forever and that we’ll all be together by and by.  May God richly bless you according to His mystery and love and strengthen your family, showering all of us with His grace.

The Sum of Our Fears

Dear God,

You know that for several years You and I have been like an old married couple sitting on the front porch together each evening, not saying much and not much expecting the other to change.

So when my friend suggested I listen to an online sermon on prayer and uncertainty You can understand why I resisted.  I’ve asked You….no….begged You for important things.  And I guess You’ve listened and decided not to budge.

But I clicked on the sermon anyway.  And though I had no words, You saw my tears.  The author spoke about our tendencies to present our circumstances – our lists of requests.  I do that.  But then he asked the listener to say “because if You don’t……” after each request.  He said it would be at this point where we find our real need – our vulnerabilities, our nakedness before You.

And he was right.  I’ve asked You to heal my family, one by one, of chronic illnesses.  You didn’t and they are gone.  So “if You don’t”…..well, then…..  I’ll be alone.   There.  I’ve said it.

Now let’s sit together awhile.  And help me believe that even if You don’t say anything, that I won’t be alone, will I?  Help me to manage Your mystery, to trust in Your ways, and to always know in my soul that You are still right next to me.

Hurt – Understanding What’s Under the Surface

Remember the seminal phrase from the movie City Slickers that represented what Billy Crystal was searching for?  The One Thing.  Aren’t we all searching for that?  For addicts, their lives are spent obtaining substances of choice and then arranging their circumstances to experience them.  Generally, they are always  running toward their “One Thing”.  And, many times, for those of us who don’t don the label of “addict”, we run away from “The One Thing”.  So what is the mysterious “One Thing”? 

For me, to live is Christ.  Christ came to give life and abundance.  I believe that we are designed to be connected with Christ, for Him to fill us so that we can feel true worth, to live abundantly and have purpose in a fallen world.  But if we’re honest, we move fast and in many directions, most of the time away from the “One Thing”.  Why?  It’s not rocket science.  We stuff drugs, alcohol, activities, food, television and relationships into our lives in an attempt to manage underlying hurts and the pain of loss.  And if we neglect the “One Thing” long enough,  our broken ways become the norm.  Our hearts become numb as we run from the solitude and silence that compliments contemplative and intentional living – our best lives.  Going toward our vices moves us away from Virtue. And in this fashion, we will never function optimally.  We may live, but not abundantly. 

So when we think about those who deal with addictions, try to at least silently ask yourselves - are we really that different?  We can all make the decision about The One Thing – Christ, and choose to spend our days going toward Him.  And we can learn to fill the hurts, the voids that come with life, with His ways and in His strength.

Listen to the song, Hurt, written by Trent Reznor and covered by Johnny Cash.  Though it’s about addiction, consider the ways we are all alike, with hurts and voids that we attempt to fill.  And if we see a bit of ourselves, then it is a good place to begin a conversation with one who may be struggling.

Tribute to My Brother

Mid-life is treacherous and wonderful.  It is a time to grieve what you thought might be, attempt to make sense of what actually was, and an opportunity to slow down and incorporate your findings into the life you have left to live.  For me, writing has helped.  This Sunday morning I need to pay tribute to my older brother.  I lost him several years ago to suicide, though he struggled through life itself. 

I have come to believe that there are folks who simply don’t manage this world well.  We can label them if we need to but it’s complicated and he was, too.  Over time, this brilliant man with a quick wit more desired to live reclusively than with others.  He struggled with substances I know he used, in part, to ease the relentless processes of his mind.  Though he died without a spouse to help him, he was most proud of his daughter who loved him well despite his challenges and gave him a grandson.  And although he preferred solitude, he came out of his comfort zone after our father passed to care for our mother until she died.  He served my family honorably.  In the second half of his life, my brother endured chronic health issues that, combined with his mental state, proved to be overwhelming for him.  He made a decision to end his life. 

Is he with Jesus?  I think so. I remember vividly asking him about his relationship with Christ as I helped to intervene in a crisis.  At that time I thought he was going to die.  It was a turning point for me regarding all I knew about evangelism.  In his most vulnerable moment, I admitted to him that my need to know the answer was probably more important to me than his need to tell me.  I was ashamed to admit that in trying to save his soul, that I cared more about comforting my own heart than his.  In his dire circumstances, he gave me a gift I’ll never forget that has changed the way I think about others.

He reminded me that we had both been raised in the same home and that, of course, he believed in Jesus.  He went on to graphically tell me about the daily struggles he faced with substances and mental issues. He told me that he was a sinner – broken – and that each night he kneeled and begged Jesus for help to get through the night and the next day.  His description of his personal relationship to Christ made my own look like a ride on a carousel. 

I have come to believe that there are those in this world that are just not able to manage it well – the ups, downs, the unexpected, the complications and complexities.  And, like my dear brother, unfortunately some are not with us now.  But that doesn’t mean they didn’t love Jesus, does it?  I believe my brother is in the presence of Jesus, who he knew intimately through his struggles, and that he now can truly rest in the arms of the angels.

What Is It a Mom Really Wants?

I started to answer this question as it related to my child but then realized that from my perspective, the answer is the same for both my child and me.  My greatest burden as a parent is not seeing my child live well.  Right now, I don’t want to talk about the “whys” because though on most days I think I know why – the truth is I don’t.  People are complex.  Their organic makeup and challenges are multifaceted and play off the other.  It is absurd for me to isolate a person’s burden into a single label.  My child is a person with many challenges that has not been able to “live well” in the world.  This is not to say that his issues are not real and need to be dealt with.  This is not to say that my child must not be accountable.

But today, the Lord’s Day, I need to meditate on His creation and my child is a part of that unique work.  The older I get, the less I know.  But the one thing that never changes is the answer to the original question I pondered – what does a mom really want?  This mom wants to live a life in Christ. It is my prayer for my child, too.  Sometimes, there are no words for conflicted relationships.  Though different, we are the same – we are both humans doing the best we can right now with what we know and know to do.  That’s why I love this link entitled “Untitled Hymn” which I prayed today for both me and my beloved child.